Accidental yumminess

I just had a really bad day. Work was dull as usual and interrupted by a phone call from my estate agent who, it transpired, had just previously talked to my ex and said exactly the wrong thing. Cue chain of events which culminates in Cold War-style tension between us, much stress and grief and a general desire to punch everything I see. I was miserable and even had to cut my weights session short after I glanced in the mirror and saw the scowl on my face, no wonder people had been looking at me oddly.

I crawled back into the flat feeling utterly wretched and hit the kitchen, ready to speed-cook a common or garden seafood stir-fry. With the super-healthy brown rice almost cooked I heated the wok and start
1 tsp Very Lazy garlic
1 tsp Very Lazy chili
1 tsp Very Lazy gingered adding the veg – 1 red onion, 2 spring onions, 1 carrot, 1/2 a green pepper – once the super tasty ginger and garlic oil was toasty hot.

A week ago I bought these little jars of wonder from a range called English Provender Very Lazy, basically ready-chopped garlic, chilli and ginger, each preserved in white wine vinegar, exceptionally handy and very tasty. One teaspoon of each went into the mix and I was about to toss in the mixed seafood when I remembered seeing some organic coconut milk in the cupboard. Now for the record I’m not a huge fan of organic food, it does taste nice but the drastically lower yields make it a bit suspect in an environmental sense. It just happened to be organic, so there.

Anyway I fired a quarter of a tin into the wok along with the prawns, mussels and calamari and lo and behold – before my eyes the milk started turning a delicious orange-pink colour, slowly deepening to red. My nose, only recently back from the dead after fifteen years of smoking, perked up and started giving me flashbacks to Thai restaurants. I simmered the concoction for a few minutes until I couldn’t bear it any longer and served it up.

Sweet Jesus. All memory of the day’s events faded into nothing as my taste buds annexed all of my brain’s sensory apparatus. Every single spoonful (yeah, I went proper Thai) was heavenly, and the best thing is the whole meal was actually pretty damn healthy! My anger is now dissipated, at least to a certain extent, and I’m going to chill out, read and watch a couple of old episodes of Firefly with a contended smile on my face.

If anyone fancies trying to replicate my culinary accident, here’s the Cliff Notes version:

2 handfuls of brown rice
1 dash chilli & garlic stir fry oil
1 carrot
1/2 green pepper
1 red onion
2 spring onions
200g mixed seafood
1 tsp Very Lazy garlic
1 tsp Very Lazy chilli
1 tsp Very Lazy ginger
100 ml coconut milk

Boil rice as per instructions
Heat oil in wok, chop all veg and add to wok and fry for 2 mins
Add ginger, garlic and chilli, fry for 1 min
Add seafood and milk, simmer for 3-5 mins
Eat! Smile!


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