Talking of stupid ideas…

That last post was a bit rambling and written at the end of a tiring weekend so apologies there. But the gist of it was really stupid ideas and the terrible consequences they wreak. Well here’s another example, this time from a source you’d expect to be slightly more responsible than a bunch of drunk film students. Over on Bruce Schneier’s blog there’s a link to a story about an enterprising entomologist who has just released a book warning us all that those crafty terrorists might just decide to use insects as a plague-bearing army to wipe us all out. Seriously.

First of all I just can’t get behind all these “what if the terrorists did x, y or z” stories – and lets leave out the whole banding together of all ‘terrorists’ into a single amorphous group for another post. Yes, the terrorists may decide to enlist an evil bug army, tens of thousands of little chitinous freedom fighters, ready to face the wrath of our bug spray in the name of whatever cause is most fashionable at the time. It’s a possibility. And then again they may decide to focus on genetically engineering an army of outsized jewel wasps to enslave us all. Apparently these terrorists are pretty well funded so why don’t they just go all-out and recreate the insect race from Starship Troopers? That’d sure teach us a lesson.

Seriously though, there are countless devious ploys that terrorist groups could come up with to disrupt our lives, whether it’s a physical attack, hacking financial systems, disrupting public transport or whatever. I’m not about to start worrying about it because there are a hell of a lot more pressing issues in my life right now. I may not have a job after March 1st, I can’t sell my flat, the fact that my ex-wife is already seeing someone else constantly gnaws away at what is left of my self-confidence and sanity and I somehow have to get past all that to get myself in shape for a half marathon in less than three months. Excuse my if I tell all these fear-mongering fuckwits to shut the hell up and put their imaginations to some good use for a change – maybe collaborate with the team behind Snakes On A Plane for another ridiculous blockbuster?

And another thing, as pointed out by one of my colleagues across the desk from me. It’s highly unlikely that any self-respecting terrorist would have even contemplated wasting his time on such an outlandish scheme. In fact the chances are none of them would have even dreamt it up due to its utterly ridiculous nature. But you know what? Now they do have that idea and someone has just spent several hundred pages explaining how to do it, how it could work and what measures we would use to prevent it. Nice work genius, we know who to blame when the US is wiped out by ebola…

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